I've been annoyed. Annoyed with a lot of things. It's like a low level hum from the fluorescent ceiling lights in generic offices. You can't really tell it's there, but you are annoyed by it somewhere deep in the recesses of you brain. It all accumulates into an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and isolation. I want to drop out.
This is where this blog post changes.
I want to thank the men and women that have put on a uniform in service to our country. It doesn't matter to me if you were on the front lines, or in the rear with the gear. You put it on the line. I didn't. You woke up at ungodly hours to train for the worst. I didn't. You ate crappy food and appreciated it. I didn't. You spent several tours away from your family. I didn't. You don't get paid enough. If I was in charge, my first move would be to double your salary, and it still wouldn't be enough. Your kids have grown and changed since you've been gone, I got to see everyday of my boy's lives. You slept on rocks, on cots, and with a bunch of smelly dudes. I didn't. You were in 130 degree desert, I was only in a 115 degree desert. You've had to move your family wherever you're told, I haven't. You're wives have asked themselves is this worth it? Mine hasn't (at least I don't think she has). You have been in countries and couldn't have a cold beer at the end of a hard work day. I haven't. You've served under leaders you don't agree with, but you swore an oath to defend our country. I haven't. You've had too many friends that didn't come home from there. I haven't. You've seen ungodly things that you'll never speak of outside of the circle of guys that saw the same things. I haven't.
Thank you for serving. Thank you for your sacrifice. I appreciate you. You will always be spoken of with respect in my house. My sons will know that we appreciate our servicemen. You will not be looked at with disdain by and Tomblin in my house. I don't have the words to tell you the amount of respect I have for you, but this was my attempt.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
The Lights
When I was a kid, we would take road trips at night. My brother and I would eventually fall asleep in the backseat, without car seats, and without seat belts. There was a time in my life that I was small enough to curl up and sleep in the back seat of a car, or on the ledge where the car speakers were. I remember driving across southeastern New Mexico into west Texas seeing lights from all the small towns that dot that part of the map. The lights are deceiving though, they leave you with the thought that you are closer to your destination than you are. That part of the country is dark at night when there is no moon. We don't get that out here because Phoenix takes an hour and fifteen minutes to drive across. It's never dark. But out in west Texas, there are large expanses of darkness in between the lights.
Life is that way too. Large expanses of dark in between the lights. Its daunting and scary when you're out there alone. I remember going fishing on rivers at night without the moon, or a fire, or a lantern, it was scary. There is no sense of direction, no sense of destination. When we would get a good pallet fire going though, it seemingly lit up miles around because the darkness that surrounded was so relentless.
My life has had those dark places as well. Large expanses of darkness in between the lights. I have let myself walk away from the light and into the darkness and gotten lost on several occasions. Before I met Christa, there was a huge expanse of darkness that I had gone into. Bad directions, bad decisions always lead to the darkness. The amount of time you spend in the darkness is often dependent on perspective. If you keep your head down searching for direction, you'll often keep going in a circle.
If you keep your head up though, you can see that you may be in the darkness, but the light is there. The light is hope. The light is an answer. Darkness seems to never end, but all you need is a little light to bring hope. The closer you get to the light, the more you realize that you are surrounded by the light.
It seems pretty dark out there now. It seems that the areas of light are getting farther and farther away. I have really thought about dropping out of society. It just seems that there isn't any place for me to be anymore. Everything is awful. Everything is ok now. The only discrimination that truly exists in our society anymore is against people that want to be the light in the vast expanse of darkness. I'm not going to drop out of society though. I want people to see the light. Your situation may seem hopeless and you need to see the light. If that is you, know that I am rooting for you. You aren't doomed to darkness. It's not your destiny to be lost and alone. Look for the light. Don't stop looking for the light. Be the light. Someone is searching for the light.
Life is that way too. Large expanses of dark in between the lights. Its daunting and scary when you're out there alone. I remember going fishing on rivers at night without the moon, or a fire, or a lantern, it was scary. There is no sense of direction, no sense of destination. When we would get a good pallet fire going though, it seemingly lit up miles around because the darkness that surrounded was so relentless.
My life has had those dark places as well. Large expanses of darkness in between the lights. I have let myself walk away from the light and into the darkness and gotten lost on several occasions. Before I met Christa, there was a huge expanse of darkness that I had gone into. Bad directions, bad decisions always lead to the darkness. The amount of time you spend in the darkness is often dependent on perspective. If you keep your head down searching for direction, you'll often keep going in a circle.
If you keep your head up though, you can see that you may be in the darkness, but the light is there. The light is hope. The light is an answer. Darkness seems to never end, but all you need is a little light to bring hope. The closer you get to the light, the more you realize that you are surrounded by the light.
It seems pretty dark out there now. It seems that the areas of light are getting farther and farther away. I have really thought about dropping out of society. It just seems that there isn't any place for me to be anymore. Everything is awful. Everything is ok now. The only discrimination that truly exists in our society anymore is against people that want to be the light in the vast expanse of darkness. I'm not going to drop out of society though. I want people to see the light. Your situation may seem hopeless and you need to see the light. If that is you, know that I am rooting for you. You aren't doomed to darkness. It's not your destiny to be lost and alone. Look for the light. Don't stop looking for the light. Be the light. Someone is searching for the light.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Drunk on winning
If you haven't read the story of the Baylor football player that raped another Baylor student, a freshman soccer player, then stop and read it. http://www.texasmonthly.com/article/silence-at-baylor/
Don't read the comments on the article, you will lose hope in all humanity. Up front, I love Texas Longhorns football. While I don't like Baylor, they aren't near as bad as ou or a&m, as far as my hatred goes. I like Art Briles quite a bit. While he was here at the Fiesta Bowl a couple of years ago, he was interviewing to coach in Austin. At the time, I was pumped about the chances of him having UT as a backdrop to bring in the top football talent in the country. All of the good that Art Briles has done in his life, in my opinion, has been erased by looking the other way because he had a guy transfer to his program that would be a bad ass on defense, without regard to the other people on his campus. That player raped a female student. Again, his player raped a female Baylor student.
Let's do a little back story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baylor_Bears_football. The important numbers to the right of the page are these; the year they started playing football, their all time record (barely above .500), the number of national championships (0), and when their new stadium was built. The only success that Baylor has had in their football program is with Art Briles as their head coach. McClane is stadium should have his name on it. It should, I'm not kidding. The problem with that, is when your name should be on the building, I think it's really easy to be short sighted. I think winning becomes the only thing a guy can be concerned with at a certain point. I don't think Briles is a bad person. I think he made a horrible decision. I actually think he's made more horrible decisions that haven't been reported by the Waco media because they feed their families with Baylor football, or they are alumni and wear green and gold glasses. Why didn't Briles dismiss the kid from the program until the case was either over, or he was convicted? Why put all your eggs in this kid's basket? It's really strange to me that Briles would try to cover all of this up.
College football coaches aren't just college football coaches anymore. They're CEO's of massive companies. Baylor football generated nearly $30 million last year. That's a lot of money. Baylor is worth $266 million. Baylor, in Waco, is worth $266 million. Unbelievable. I can't imagine a CEO of a company willfully letting a man, who was indicted and later convicted of rape, just roam free on campus. At best it's irresponsible, at worst, it's a crime. If you're willing to overlook a predator because you think he's going to sack the opposing team's quarterback a lot, you're just as responsible for the crime committed as the person who committed it.
The football season starts Thursday, Baylor plays on friday. The announcers won't mention one word of this because Baylor is a preseason favorite to win it all. I'll remember though. That girl will remember. Her Dad will remember. I'm guessing that Art will too. Your coach can't be bigger than your program. Winning at all costs isn't winning when it's all said and done. I would hope that there are some Baylor higher ups that are losing some sleep because they're overlooking their own Baptist code of ethics on this matter. If this was going on at UT, I would want Charlie fired immediately.
The fact that the jury in this case didn't want to give the guy any jail time, is bewildering. The facts were clear. The judge intervened and did the only thing that Texas state law would allow and at least gave him six months in jail. I hope those are the longest six months of his life. I hope he comes out rehabilitated and understanding his depravity. I'm hopeful for that, but I don't believe it. This will happen again, to another innocent woman. These people can't be fixed. The correct response for a coach in all of these situations should be to not want to touch him with a ten foot pole. Will Muschamp, the former coach at Florida, turned down this transfer. Florida has a long storied history of letting anyone play there. Not this guy though. Strange. It's almost as if there was some information on this kid that made him not want this guy. I refuse to use his name. He doesn't deserve it. Good job Will Muschamp. Way to look out for the ladies in Gainesville. It may have been the best thing you did during your tenure as head coach.
A little disclaimer: these opinions are my own. I don't have any inside info. No one was consulted when I wrote this post. Oh yeah. HOOK EM!
Don't read the comments on the article, you will lose hope in all humanity. Up front, I love Texas Longhorns football. While I don't like Baylor, they aren't near as bad as ou or a&m, as far as my hatred goes. I like Art Briles quite a bit. While he was here at the Fiesta Bowl a couple of years ago, he was interviewing to coach in Austin. At the time, I was pumped about the chances of him having UT as a backdrop to bring in the top football talent in the country. All of the good that Art Briles has done in his life, in my opinion, has been erased by looking the other way because he had a guy transfer to his program that would be a bad ass on defense, without regard to the other people on his campus. That player raped a female student. Again, his player raped a female Baylor student.
Let's do a little back story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baylor_Bears_football. The important numbers to the right of the page are these; the year they started playing football, their all time record (barely above .500), the number of national championships (0), and when their new stadium was built. The only success that Baylor has had in their football program is with Art Briles as their head coach. McClane is stadium should have his name on it. It should, I'm not kidding. The problem with that, is when your name should be on the building, I think it's really easy to be short sighted. I think winning becomes the only thing a guy can be concerned with at a certain point. I don't think Briles is a bad person. I think he made a horrible decision. I actually think he's made more horrible decisions that haven't been reported by the Waco media because they feed their families with Baylor football, or they are alumni and wear green and gold glasses. Why didn't Briles dismiss the kid from the program until the case was either over, or he was convicted? Why put all your eggs in this kid's basket? It's really strange to me that Briles would try to cover all of this up.
College football coaches aren't just college football coaches anymore. They're CEO's of massive companies. Baylor football generated nearly $30 million last year. That's a lot of money. Baylor is worth $266 million. Baylor, in Waco, is worth $266 million. Unbelievable. I can't imagine a CEO of a company willfully letting a man, who was indicted and later convicted of rape, just roam free on campus. At best it's irresponsible, at worst, it's a crime. If you're willing to overlook a predator because you think he's going to sack the opposing team's quarterback a lot, you're just as responsible for the crime committed as the person who committed it.
The football season starts Thursday, Baylor plays on friday. The announcers won't mention one word of this because Baylor is a preseason favorite to win it all. I'll remember though. That girl will remember. Her Dad will remember. I'm guessing that Art will too. Your coach can't be bigger than your program. Winning at all costs isn't winning when it's all said and done. I would hope that there are some Baylor higher ups that are losing some sleep because they're overlooking their own Baptist code of ethics on this matter. If this was going on at UT, I would want Charlie fired immediately.
The fact that the jury in this case didn't want to give the guy any jail time, is bewildering. The facts were clear. The judge intervened and did the only thing that Texas state law would allow and at least gave him six months in jail. I hope those are the longest six months of his life. I hope he comes out rehabilitated and understanding his depravity. I'm hopeful for that, but I don't believe it. This will happen again, to another innocent woman. These people can't be fixed. The correct response for a coach in all of these situations should be to not want to touch him with a ten foot pole. Will Muschamp, the former coach at Florida, turned down this transfer. Florida has a long storied history of letting anyone play there. Not this guy though. Strange. It's almost as if there was some information on this kid that made him not want this guy. I refuse to use his name. He doesn't deserve it. Good job Will Muschamp. Way to look out for the ladies in Gainesville. It may have been the best thing you did during your tenure as head coach.
A little disclaimer: these opinions are my own. I don't have any inside info. No one was consulted when I wrote this post. Oh yeah. HOOK EM!
Monday, February 23, 2015
It's all annoying isn't it?
I find myself being annoyed at just about everything lately. When a news story airs, and I ask myself, "why is this on the news", that's annoying. Certain people's faces are annoying. White people that think they need to speak out for "disenfranchised" minorities are really annoying, and I would argue, just as racist as any racist comment or joke people can make about said disenfranchised folks. People driving in the left lane that shouldn't be driving in the left lane, are annoying. People at Costco that are so involved in what they have going on, they don't pay attention to the fact that you almost ran them over, or they're in the way of what you need to get. I understand taking a certain amount of time to find what you're looking for, but being so oblivious to the rest of the world going on around you that you can't see you're holding everyone else up. Also the sample stations at Costco are horribly placed. They're in the way. The huffington post website and their writers are annoying, not only because they're liberal, but because they're elitists. They think they know better than you, and every decision you've made is because you're a white male with no perspective of the world. Auto correct is annoying too. Just sitting there, mocking you, changing your words, and punctuation. Jerk. Modern music is annoying. All the music that is auto tuned and cleaned up to take all imperfections out, is annoying. Why is Kanye West still a thing? That's annoying.
I've said all that to say this. I would really like to be a person that doesn't find myself being annoyed but this stuff, and that is a small list to show you what I find annoying in this world. My wife pays no attention to any of that stuff, she's just there, being awesome and loving and caring for my boys and I. She has no idea what I'm talking about half the time, and I find myself being jealous of that.
I need to stop paying attention to the trivial, and focus on the eternal. The focus on the eternal is the solution here. 21 Christians being slain in the name of a god that doesn't exist should get more attention in my life than it has. Trying to change my little piece of the world should be holding a bigger part of my mind, should be more important than it is. I can blame a lot of things for wasting time, and taking attention away from the eternal, but none of the excuses are good. It's all trivial. It's all stupid. I don't go exercise at night because I "need" to watch tv shows that I like. Thats a dumb reason to not go for a walk. The main thing has become a series of small, unimportant, trivial things, that have nothing to do with affecting my part of the world to turn their perspective to the eternal.
I have found myself feeling restless lately. I feel stuck in a job that I like, but the chances for advancement don't seem to be coming fast enough. I'm getting to a point where I look at other things and think, "that's my dream job", but is it really? At some point everything just turns into work. I love college football, but if I got a job in college football, how would I feel about it in 15 years? My guess would be about the same way I feel about the job I've had for 15 years. It's not eternal. It's a job. It's a paycheck. They're all just paychecks, unless I'm affecting eternity.
I don't have any answers. I don't know if I will anytime soon. One thing I do know, eternity seems to be closer than it ever has before.
I've said all that to say this. I would really like to be a person that doesn't find myself being annoyed but this stuff, and that is a small list to show you what I find annoying in this world. My wife pays no attention to any of that stuff, she's just there, being awesome and loving and caring for my boys and I. She has no idea what I'm talking about half the time, and I find myself being jealous of that.
I need to stop paying attention to the trivial, and focus on the eternal. The focus on the eternal is the solution here. 21 Christians being slain in the name of a god that doesn't exist should get more attention in my life than it has. Trying to change my little piece of the world should be holding a bigger part of my mind, should be more important than it is. I can blame a lot of things for wasting time, and taking attention away from the eternal, but none of the excuses are good. It's all trivial. It's all stupid. I don't go exercise at night because I "need" to watch tv shows that I like. Thats a dumb reason to not go for a walk. The main thing has become a series of small, unimportant, trivial things, that have nothing to do with affecting my part of the world to turn their perspective to the eternal.
I have found myself feeling restless lately. I feel stuck in a job that I like, but the chances for advancement don't seem to be coming fast enough. I'm getting to a point where I look at other things and think, "that's my dream job", but is it really? At some point everything just turns into work. I love college football, but if I got a job in college football, how would I feel about it in 15 years? My guess would be about the same way I feel about the job I've had for 15 years. It's not eternal. It's a job. It's a paycheck. They're all just paychecks, unless I'm affecting eternity.
I don't have any answers. I don't know if I will anytime soon. One thing I do know, eternity seems to be closer than it ever has before.
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