The Lights

When I was a kid, we would take road trips at night.  My brother and I would eventually fall asleep in the backseat, without car seats, and without seat belts.  There was a time in my life that I was small enough to curl up and sleep in the back seat of a car, or on the ledge where the car speakers were.  I remember driving across southeastern New Mexico into west Texas seeing lights from all the small towns that dot that part of the map.  The lights are deceiving though, they leave you with the thought that you are closer to your destination than you are.  That part of the country is dark at night when there is no moon.  We don't get that out here because Phoenix takes an hour and fifteen minutes to drive across.  It's never dark.  But out in west Texas, there are large expanses of darkness in between the lights. 

Life is that way too.  Large expanses of dark in between the lights.  Its daunting and scary when you're out there alone.  I remember going fishing on rivers at night without the moon, or a fire, or a lantern, it was scary.  There is no sense of direction, no sense of destination.  When we would get a good pallet fire going though, it seemingly lit up miles around because the darkness that surrounded was so relentless.

My life has had those dark places as well. Large expanses of darkness in between the lights. I have let myself walk away from the light and into the darkness and gotten lost on several occasions.  Before I met Christa, there was a huge expanse of darkness that I had gone into.  Bad directions, bad decisions always lead to the darkness. The amount of time you spend in the darkness is often dependent on perspective.  If you keep your head down searching for direction, you'll often keep going in a circle. 
If you keep your head up though, you can see that you may be in the darkness, but the light is there.  The light is hope.  The light is an answer.  Darkness seems to never end, but all you need is a little light to bring hope.  The closer you get to the light, the more you realize that you are surrounded by the light.

It seems pretty dark out there now.  It seems that the areas of light are getting farther and farther away.  I have really thought about dropping out of society.  It just seems that there isn't any place for me to be anymore.  Everything is awful.  Everything is ok now.  The only discrimination that truly exists in our society anymore is against people that want to be the light in the vast expanse of darkness.  I'm not going to drop out of society though.  I want people to see the light.  Your situation may seem hopeless and you need to see the light.  If that is you, know that I am rooting for you.  You aren't doomed to darkness. It's not your destiny to be lost and alone.  Look for the light.  Don't stop looking for the light. Be the light.  Someone is searching for the light.